Beneath Your Smile

I wish I took the time,
To look beneath your smile,
But I was so shy during that while.
Your laughter hid a pain so deep,
That only you could kmnow.
Behind the mask of a clown,
Your feelings never showed.
I wish that I could know you now,
Since I am not afraid,
To be the one and only me,
My single destiny.
If I could show you my life now,
And take you back to then.
Would you have all the hope you need,
To want to live again?
You died so young, I only pray,
That you are with the Lord today.
When I look back, I only see,
Your smile burns in my memory.

What Am I Supposed To Be?

My name may not be important to this world.
I may never see the sunlight or starlit skies.
I will not be held in my mothers arms as she rocks me to sleep.


Christmas Carols will only be sung with angels,
there will be no school plays or carnivals;
the rush of a rollercoaster, the taste of cotton candy-
all things that children take for granted cannot be mine.

This world did not want me. Perhaps my parents were not ready
or able to provide a home. Perhaps they never would have
realized the love I would have brought them. I would
have endured any hardship in life, but this rejection is too much to bear.

Why? Why do parents only see their own concerns? I was invisible.
I could not speak for myself, but in a whisper. They argue
so loudly about the burdens already in their lives.
They could not hear my soft voice crying,
"please...please do not end my life before it begins."

I wanted to take a breathe of life and cry with the
joy of being alive. I wanted to be loved and cared for
in this earthly life. I wanted to dance, laugh, and sing.

My Heavenly Father comforts me. I have so much potential.
He assures me that I have the intelligence and creativity,
from the pattern of my genes, to accomplish much in life.
I could have been a doctor who found a cure for a disease,
or a leader who brought peace. Not given a chance, the world
will never know what I may have done.

I know this poetic piece of prose speaks from the unborn child's point of view, but abortion also affects women and daughters who have been raped and not given a choice with their bodies....while men are not affected.


Published in the Spring 1994 Poetic Eloquence
by Sharon Tulley

“Share the Dance”
by Sharon Tulley

Wait-
think it over he said.
Without you in my life,
Those are tears- I don’t want to shed.
I know our life’s not perfect,
There are no guarantees.
Just don’t give up on me,
Or turn your pretty eyes away-
Please?

I looked him in the eyes,
And took a long, deep breath.
“There’s things you do not understand,
We were doomed the day we met.”
His look of disbelief,
The way he hung his head-
He looked like he had given in,
But this is what he said.

Chorus:
Beginnings are misleading,
They don’t reflect the heart.
Sometimes you think it’s ending,
But that’s only the start.

I rolled my eyes a moment,
But the words ran through my mind.
How could the man who was so cruel,
Be suddenly so kind?

He put his hand out slowly,
Then gently touched my face,
And in his eyes I saw,
Such love- my heart could not erase.

Chorus:
Beginnings are misleading,
They don’t reflect the heart.
Sometimes you think it’s ending,
But that’s only the start.

Please open up your heart,
And give me one more chance.
This life is but a shadow-
Without you to share the dance.

Chorus:
Beginnings are misleading,
They don’t reflect the heart.
Sometimes you think it’s ending,
But that’s only the start.

Gratitude

Oh how the mighty fall

and are humbled who do

not humble themselves

I find I am not immune.

I thought too highly of myself

and pushed too many limits for too long,

now it is in even the simplest things

that this bird with a clipped wing,

is learning once again to sing.

Alone in the Crowd

Do you ever find yourself,
Alone in a room of friends,
With a cut and paste smile,
In the land of pretend?

Do your eyes hurt,
From holding on,
Too much emotion,
Until they are gone?


Do you face each day,
Feeling like a shell,
Wanting to reach out,
Not knowing who to tell?

You're not alone,
And yet you are.
Answers escape me,
Haven't found one so far.

Silence is Golden

She was holding the phone

to her listening ear

she heard every word

of his pain, doubts, and fears

she didn't belittle his emotions

though she had her own

she just simply listened

as the emotion in his voice

played a symphony of tones.

She dare not say a word yet,

he had held this all in too long...

too many years of trying to 'be the man,'

to be the one who held up strong,

so it was with compassion

the silence she held golden

to give him his say,

when she noticed

he was waiting on her to respond,

she said, 'I've been here the whole time

and I've heard every word today.

Don't take my silence for neglect.

I gave you today all the attention

You deserved all along

you see it is for the times

I wasn't silent to you I have wronged.'

Read Me

Sometimes I wonder,
What it is I see in you.
The next moment I'm smiling,
Not sure just what it is you do.

You can inspire delight,
Then make me see green or red.
You can bring a song to my heart,
When I am full of dread.

The strings of my emotions,
You play with skill and ease.
The more the song demands,
The more I want to please.

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed.
Are you as complex as you seem?
Perhaps I'm just a silly child,
Who still believes in dreams.

I'd like to think I'm more than that,
Not a number marking years,
But a soul whose life is immeasurable,
Wiser still from each shed tear.

I may not have studied,
To learn all the right words to say,
But the hard-earned lessons,
Cannot be taken away.

The book that you see,
You may turn it aside at a glance.
The cover cannot express what is inside,
Some stories need to be given a chance.

*written by S.D. Tulley 1990s*

Living is More than Survival

I knew a man once who stopped,
That is all- he just gave up inside.
Sure, he talked a good speech,
But his dreams he would hide.

He walked through life,
He did the routine,
While his heart beat mechanically,
And he was less man than machine.

But somewhere inside,
Was this hope that burned.
He hid the light from others,
Afraid of his hopes overturned.

Did he find a comfort zone,
That didn't make him fight,
To surrender to his fears,
That may never see the light?

My heart aches for life,
That is not dared to live.
One day that hurt man,
Must learn to forgive.


*Written by S.D. Tulley in the 1990s*

Lost in a Moment

The day can be so routine,
Then a moment can transform.
When it is shared with you,
I feel such joy and warmth.

Simple things can mean more,
Than money spent on a show.
And tender, fragile, feelings,
Gain the confidence to grow.

It's not a destination,
That I am going to,
But I appreciate the time,
That I can be with you.

Lives can't be taken for granted.
No one can stay forever.
There are no guarantees,
All ties may one day sever.

We may not sail through life,
Navigating the same chart.
But whatever course you take,
You have a place in my heart.

*written by S.D. Tulley in the 1990s*

Restoration (my life poem)

I need no one to tell me,
Who I am or where I've been.
I need no other pressure,
To set sail upon the wind.

The miracles I longed for,
Were with me in each day.
I blame my own ingratitude,
My faith which rocked and swayed.

They say to seek and you will find,
How obscure, but also true.
It is where you set your heart,
Which determines what you do.

When blessed with inspiration,
That flows through like a stream,
Do not give up for anyone,
The living of that dream.

No matter what the pain is,
That cuts you like a knife,
Though heart and dreams are damaged,
Don't give up without a fight.


*written by S.D. Tulley in 1996*

Revive

I can remember when,
Words flowed like a steady stream.
My mind was filled with thoughts,
While my heart was full of dreams.

When I had lost all hope,
You were part of the scenery.
I don't know when your presence,
Became a part of me.

I had stumbled through life,
Thinking only to survive.
Then you looked into my heart,
And I felt so alive.

The wonder of it all,
You have been here all along.
While I felt all alone,
Not knowing I belonged.

*Written by S.D. Tulley in the 1990s*